It’s been just over five years since I started my channel in 2018. At that point, I knew what I wanted to happen but really didn’t know if it would ever happen. The dream of course, at that time, was to start the channel get myself to the point of being able to quit my job which I hated at that point and just make instructional videos for the rest of my life. This didn’t happen, but I am now making a little bit of money off of my work. How much you ask? Enough that I can buy a Joyo guitar pedal (the cheaper ones) every month.
What started as a way to get out of the rut that I was in at the time, turned into an amazing journey or meeting people, doing something that I love and general happyness.
I loved music from a young age, but never learned how to play an instrument. When I was 15, I wanted to write a version of “Flashback” by Jan Hammer on a midi application that I had on my Commodore 64. Since I really knew nothing about music it didn’t pan out. It wasn’t until, like a lot of musicians, I was in college that I finally bought a bass and joined a band. It was a funny thing because I had talked with friends about learning guitar and both said that with my large fingers I should get a bass. So I bought the bass from a girl that was in my classes and that started the love of playing, song writing and performing.
My luck with finding a job in my career was difficult to say the least. I had my “mid-life” crisis at 25 years old, it felt like nothing was working out, I was still doing a low paying job, not getting anywhere with what I had graduated in college. The band I was in wasn’t where I had hoped we would be at that point. We were still recording our first release after 2 years working in the studio. I was simply frustrated at this point.
In the fall of that year, I met my first wife. She knew my dreams in music and she was behind me at that point. The band released a two song cassette single early the next year and later broke up. The masters of the other eight songs were given to the guitarist, I got the original 4-track cassettes, which was mainly drums and we split the last of the cassettes up between the three of us. I have about ten or so in a box in my studio to this day, I’ll get into why later.
The band breakup didn’t change what I wanted to do. I was still looking for a job or I was going to become a “rock star”. I ended up, with some help from some friends, start a new band using the songs that I wrote or co-wrote. I wrote some more songs to fill in the list and got back on my feet.
After all the problems that I went through with the original recordings, I decided that I wasn’t going to have a third party producer involved in the process. The producer ended up being the main reason why the band broke up in the first place, not that I was aware of any of this until years later. I had purchased a Tascam 646, just like the one we originally recorded the drum tracks on from the first band and I started to study and play around with my own recordings. I ended up buying a Roland TR-707 drum machine to create the drum tracks and started to teach myself how to play guitar. I had bought an acoustic guitar when I was single with the intent of giving up on a pursuit of a girlfriend and simply studying music and learning to play multiple instruments.
As the time passed, we ended up recording eight 4-track cassettes worth of music, did a lot of shows, opened for a few local acts. All was great, up until I got married.
Things were going great! I was married, got my first house. The band was getting a larger following. We were getting closer and closer to finishing off the recordings, we were even talking about writing new material for the next CD. Then everything went sideways after my 30th birthday. The band fell apart due to some personal issues between my sister-in-law and drummer and that was the end of the band.
Possibly the biggest blow to me was the end of the band. We were so tight that we knew what the other was going to do on stage and we were able to improvise so easily. It was just magic and I always looked forward to rehearsals and shows. I was happy.
Cut to about 3 years on, I was married for about 5 years at this point, I was in another band and I was expecting my second child. I enjoyed working with these guys, they were all friends and we did gel quite well. Then I announced I was going to be leaving for a couple of weeks since I was expecting my second child. So I did just that, I left for a couple of weeks, possibly 2 months at the most. I was kicked out of the band, but I wasn’t told until I told them I was ready to come back. This hurt the most because I had been friends with the guy who kicked me out for over 10 years by this point and he couldn’t have told me earlier.
After getting married, my wife slowly pushed me to leave music completely and too try and make her happy, I was doing so. I had quit music completely for about 6 months for this reason. She was happy, I was miserable. I did this while I was with the second band and ended up getting back with them until our final demise later. After the demise of the band and moving into a bigger house, she encouraged me to sell off my music gear. Since I really wasn’t using it I did sell off a big chunk of it.
Funny how fate works. At the time, people weren’t interested in older equipment like they are now, a lot of the stuff that I had didn’t sell and some stuff I just didn’t want to part with. That’s how I ended up keeping my cassette 4-track, my first bass, my bass amp and my acoustic guitar. After all of this, I did play in a band for a short time and at church, but the big picture was gone. This changed who I was as a person and my friends saw it, but didn’t say anything.
I did end up in the early 2000s getting a job in software development which is what I have been doing up to me writing this blog entry, it may change at some point, who knows. I stopped writing music and by 2005 performing had pretty much dried up. I was a nine to five employee and a father of two. Even with all these changes in my life, it didn’t help the marriage at all and by 2011 we were separated.
A funny thing happens when you are by yourself again. You change. I ended up changing back to who I was before I got married. My friends were all glad to reconnect with me and see that I was the person that they met originally not the person that I had become. I still wasn’t back into music at this point, but with the passing of my friend and band mate the same year, things started moving again.
I was dating again, met a lovely girl who was pretty much on the same page as I was when it came to relationships. We both didn’t want to ever get married again or have any more children. She had a daughter of her own, that was enough for her. We did a tribute concert for my friend who had passed and I was asked to sing one of our songs at the show. I hadn’t sung for about 10 years at this point but I did it. I’m glad I did.
A short time later, I got a call from a mutual friend and he told me that they found some unfinished music from our late friend and wanted me to finish one of the songs. I told him that I hadn’t written a song in about 15 years, but once again, I did it. It was the first time I had ever been in a proper studio, I did vocals and bass for the track. I missed those days of recording and I told my girlfriend this. Her response truly changed my path forever. She said, “Well why don’t you do that”. If it wasn’t for those words, my life would’ve stayed on the trail I was taking. I did it, I got back into music.
With the support of friends I was able to re-start my recording studio, complete two CDs, release music under three different artists. Start a YouTube channel which recently passed 2000 subscribers. Sing in an A Capella Choir. Work with a lot of amazingly talented people. Get back into a band! And simply be happy again.
Thank you all! Esp. if you read this entire thing!
